Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

'Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house,

nothing would fit me, not even a blouse!

The cookies I'd nibbled the eggnog I'd taste,

at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store (less walk than a lumber)

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.

The eggnog and fudge, the bread and the cheese,

and the way I'd never said: "No thank you please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt

and prepared once again to do the battle with dirt

I said to myself as only I can

"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So away with the last of the sour cream dip.

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished

'til all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie-not even a lick.

I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits or corn bread or pie.

I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome and life is a bore.

But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!